searching for reasons

To blog, yes. i don't know. it has been a long time since i last blog and i apologise for that. i just don't have the mood to blog anymore.
i know ... i might sound very selfish but that's me and i somehow proud of that. yes proud of being selfish. i know its weird but ... yah.
 idk what to post actually but maybe i just want to talk to myself.
dear me, you know ... i think you might just don't have the luck to visit the school anymore.
firstly, because everytime you want to go there, you just don't have the time to visit.
secondly, you just don't have the chance to visit.
thirdly, you just don't have freaking idea why you want to go there.
fourthly, whenever you have reason to go there, something happened and you just somehow "okay i'm going back."
fifthly, you can't see what people see.
sixthly, memories almost perish with people that still schooling there.
seventhly, you just don't know what to do there.
eightly, whenever you go to school, you ended up wearing you old glasses instead of the new one.
ninthly, whenever you go there, you cannot see someone that you know.
tenthly, yes you just dont't have the luck to visit school for this time being whenever you are alone.

okay i know. i have always said this to my friends : okay i'm gonna come. see you there. but ended up i will send this message : sorry, i can't go. no car./ sorry, i went there but i can't see you guys./ sorry i want to sleep.
yes and i know they fed up with these kind of messages and i also fed up with myself. so i figuring out the reasons why i always can't go there. yah so that are the reasons that i came out with. it is not like i don't want to go, i wanted to but ... seriously no damn luck.
this was what happen today evening :
4:30PM; i reached my house and pray for asar.
4:40PM; i drove the car to school and park somewhere near with the basketball court.
something 4 PM; i texted naimah. okay text replied but thinking should i do that or not.
something 4 PM again, i went out of the car and go to the temboks and look around like an idiot. kids were watching me like im some kind of stalker. okay calling naimah. naimah's number is busy. called aisya. not answering. called faraj. not answering also. back to the car. and keep calling. still not answering. okay, text naimah, sorry i cant see you there. bye. then i went home and phone out of battery. and I start to cook for my family dinner. family were thinking why did i wear the school t-shirt? and i was like ... hmm i don't know. okay the end of the story. time to sleep. i have class in the morning.

-renpoole-

 ps:sometimes i just don't know what is happening around me because maybe it just my nature.

Happy birthday Mother!

Oh yes, today is my mother's birthday.
she is finally 51 years old and yah like she said she is fifteen -___-
yes mom, i get it lol.
i'm glad that Allah let her lives with a healthy life.
thank you.
i love her a lot. without her, i don't know what should i do.
although sometimes she loves to nag ... uh i mean quite a lot but yah the fact that she nags me because i'm not perfect enough.
and i understand that, she loves me too just like i love her.
i ask a new glasses from her on her birthday but she was like ... no.
she said wait for the spm result.
and i was like okay mother, this is for my jpj test please?
and she just stayed silent after that.
idk if i could get a new glasses, but i really wish i can.
because this glasses is freaking sliding off from me and I'M MAD!
lol me anger.
nevertheless, thank you mother.
i'm wishing you a great birthday and great health. and i'll try my best to study hard to get the best results. wait for me.
and you know what mother,
you are the most beautiful person in the world :)
lots of love, your daughter.

-renpoole-

ps:you are the most important person, the most beautiful than anything else.

Happy 18th Birthday Puteri Afrina Abdullah

I just like to this kind of post. because of this kind of post, i absolutely will have eight posts for sure every year XD
plus my parents, 10 posts for sure lol

so yah HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY PUT!
what should i say? oh congratulations for being eighteen.
thanks for being my friend in whatever situation am i in :D
lol beautiful girl is finally a grown up.
i'm waiting for your wedding because i think it will be exciting.
and please, seriously do not invite me through phone okay?
lol, i'll try my best to always answer your calls and call you whenever i can.
and yah i love you and i hope you too XD
i'm wishing you the best in whatever you do and also in health.
and yah i wish all of us stick together forever. i'm really wishing for that.
lots of love, ren.

-renpoole-

ps:In those dark days, I was happy that you were around me.

trying to understand

I WOULD BE GLADLY TO ACCEPT JONGHYUN AS MY PROFESSOR.
yah i'm trying to understand what is the meaning of life.
i'm trying to understand what people around me is thinking.
i don't know if it is necessary but i think it is becoming important thing to understand what people feel.
okay, i don't understand what am i saying. -_____-
my bad, it just that because sometimes i really wish that i could read some other people's mind because it will be great to understand what people think.
although actually we need to understand what people feel too.
but if i'm trying to understand all of it, i don't think i could think anymore.
that is what i think.

okay so move on to other topic.
hmmm let me think for a while.
study is going well at taylors.
maybe got some difficulties but i'm trying to do my best to endure it.
I WANT TO SHOP! YES SHOP!
sigh i need to restrain myself from using any money.
and i think i did well saving my money. for now ... lolol
man it is cold. i'm sneezing non-stop.
OH BTW, I GOT NEW KITTENSSSS!
gonna post the pictures once they are a little bit bigger and ready to do some actions lolol.
next week i'm going to have driving exam which is FREAKING ME OUT!
i hope i will do well and pass the exam at once like doda!
yes, she passed! she is good :D
now she can finally drive but now she is in Vietnam, spending her holidays nicely.
yah hope she is having fun there while i'm here ... do works, watch tv.
lol my daily life what else right?
sorry that i don't really post these days.
i'm gonna try my best to post more.
okay then, i'm gonna watch hello baby mblaq since i kinduh done with my works.
but after that i'm gonna continue.
okay wish me luck.

-renpoole-

ps :run from me when you can.

Happy 18th Birthday Amirah Mohd Tahir

Happy birthday AMI!
OH YEAAAAH ANOTHER FRIEND OF MINE BECOME 18 LOLOL
so yah, so now she is busy with her studies at utp.
i just hope that whatever she is doing now will go well.
and i don't know if you still remember me, sobsness overload T____T
don't ask me why am i so emo? my nose is so itchy right now.
i'm glad that she is one of my best friends that i could hang out with.

to ami,
happy eighteen birthday. i'm wishing you the greatest in everything in your life. i just hope that you will always in great health over there. missed you a lot here.
lots of love, ren.

-renpoole-

ps:sometimes i don't know why i love to live in my own memories.